Monday, February 13, 2006
hmm birthdays are scary.. its a very awkward concept that you are supposed to happy on a certain mandatory day a year. maybe on mine i shall escape to a foreign country and hide. i always hide on birthdays anyway. i think my parents have gotten used to the concept. birthday = leave puee alone day. acutally i just realised that i might have contradicted myself. maybe being antisocial makes me happy! so therefore i am inadvertently making myself happy on my birthday. hmm... deep... its too complicated. anyway, shafa's birthday pictures will be up when i decide i can be bothered to spend half an hour on blogger.
was happily brushing my teeth just now.. thinking of how i should start on my ir essay tomorrow morning. was quite happy.. because it was supposed to be the only essay this week anyway. then i suddenly remembered. eh, got presentation on wednesday. shucks. then after another 5 minutes i remembered i have to hand up another reading summary. darn.
anyway, in my very pensive mood over the weekend, i have come to the conclusion that no one ever enjoys their current predicament. there's always something bugging you somehow or another. therefore the claims by some people that they don't like it on earth. oh well, it just takes a little adjusting of your standards of what is an acceptable level of disatisaction to live comfortably i guess. its like the cold, its only uncomfortable because you want to feel warm.
feel a sudden spontaneity in doing something dangerous, not because i feel suicidal but more that i don't feel alive. yeah and i realised that its only through putting my body through all sorts of shit that i actually feel alive and not just some essay-churning drone. quite sadistic huh? maybe i should go adventure racing.. but i can't exactly swim. dog paddle maybe.
speaking of cold, its starting to warm up. was never very cold to start with anyway. so much for the "killer winter".
okay i shall stop being pensive and make everyone sad.
Songs of the day:
I think god can explain - Splender
I would walk
500 miles;1:34 am
...
