I would walk
I would walk
I would walk
I would walk
after spending 3 bloody hours on this travel itinerary i didn't bloody save it! f***
hell, and why does the fire alarm keep going off when i'm planning holidays?!?
argharghargharghargh)@$#!@#(*&$*(#)!@##(@!#!_@#_@!#8&@#@*#&#$@$
500 miles;11:05 pm
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old?
feel old feel old.
reality struck a year ago when i realised the brunt of being denied the priviledge of being young and inexperienced in a school team and was kicked out into the open seas of the adult world. some things that you don't grab at 18 grow farther and farther out of reach. the glove and ball sit lonely under the cabinet.
realised on the bus ride back from cambridge why i always feel like i don't have much time left. cos i essentially have been counting marriage as like the end of life. haha
anyhow can't study. too many issues hanging over my head. want to help but i'm too far away. doesn't seem right to provide nothing more than money. mails unreplied. don't want to keep making the same mistakes. but maybe i shoud stop imposing my expectations of efficiency on others.
500 miles;1:20 am
they are recarpeting the floor outside my room so i have not left the room all morning. all thanks to the stash of leftover food and instant indomee mom and dad brought over. i can die here and no one will know lah. haha. and have a sudden adrenaline rush from the instant teh tarik. yum.
had a cool dream! rather irrelevant though. dreamt that dad (who now became lean and idiana jones like. ie. slimmer and blacker than the current state) and i had to escape evil star wars-like people. so dad told me to pack up so we could run. haha it was unfolding like one of those action movies. but i had to ask stupid questions like "do i need to bring winter clothes?" etc etc and i had to decide to bring all my precious "high tech" and "travel light" things, and sentimental things so we basically never left the room. and then the carpeters woke me up. sigh i realised if i really needed this stuff i would just steal it from the evil people we killed, and the dream would have progressed to the more exciting parts. damn.
okay i think my ramblings about weird dreams is chasing people away. i shall stop being a weirdo. (oh yes, last week dreamt that i met ms teo who underwent surgery to become taller. haha weird.) ohno okay shall stop. *zip*... oh yes, *zip*... last week.. *zip* *zip* *zip*
kay shall start with the most interesting topic then... incest. hahaha the interesting things i study here.
500 miles;3:08 pm
should be studying now, but this is addictive. got mom to bring my baseball stick man over. been trying over the last half an hour to try to get the throwing postition right. but it just looks wrong. checked the position of the throwing and glove arm, the turn of the ankle, the knees, the torso, everything, but it still doesn't look quite right. maybe because at the end of the day its still a plastic stick man. or more probably, my conception of the correct throw has been corrupted by 6 months of netball
actually watched mlb last night at the apartment for the first time in a year. all the wonderful softball memories came flooding back. suddenly wanted to get back to training to bat, field, and slide. remembered how we would go out rain or shine. we enjoyed it, we didn't complain. even start training super early on fridays in the hot sun because all the j2s ended class at 12.30.
and before i forget, happy birthday joan! your present is arriving in the mail :)
500 miles;7:05 pm
